On our 5-part radio series, “Responsible Kids…From ‘How?’ to ‘Wow!’” we mentioned:

A Teenager’s Ten Commandments to Parents” from Kevin Leman’s book, “Adolescence Isn’t Terminal

  1. Please don’t give me everything I say I want.  Saying no shows me you care.  I appreciate guidelines.
  2. Don’t treat me as if I were a little kid.  Even though you know what’s “right,” I need to discover some things for myself.
  3. Respect my need for privacy.  Often I need to be alone to sort things out and daydream. (Royal’s comment:  This does not mean a parent is not to know what goes on in a child’s life including what he sees and does on his computer and who he runs around with, and where he is hanging out.)
  4. Never say, “in my day…”  that’s an immediate turn off.  Besides the pressures, and responsiblities of my world are more complicated than they were when you were my age.  (Royal’s comments:  This is true.  I talk to parents all the time who think it was the same when they were teens.  It is not)
  5. I don’t pick your friends or clothes;  please don’t criticize mine.  We can disagree and still respect each other’s choices.  (Royal’s comment:  this may not include innapropriate or immodest clothing for work or school, church, etc….)
  6. Refrain from always rescuing me; I learn most from my mistakes.  Hold me accountable for the decisions I make in life; it’s the only way I’ll learn to be responsible.  (Royal’s comment:  In counseling adults I see the most anger and depression come from having had rescuing parents who refused to let their kids suffer consequences of bad choices)
  7. Be brave enough to share your disappointments, thoughts, and feelings with me.  By the way, I’m never too old to be told I am loved.
  8. Don’t talk in volumes.  I’ve had years of good instruction; now trust me with the wisdom you have shared.
  9. I respect you when you ask me for forgiveness for a thoughtless deed or word on your part.  It proves that neither of us is perfect.
  10. Set a good example for me as God intended you to do.  I pay more attention to your actions than your words.

What are your thoughts? We’d love to hear them! Please contact us anytime!